Mamma Mia

Virgin territory, this.... it's my first-ever blog post!
Well, I am getting crazier by the day about finding a baby. Bill and I are having a hard time waiting for the adoption process to come through , and I fight the urge to go Soap Opera (stealing a kid from the hospital, like in the soaps) all the time. I would never actually STEAL someone else's baby, but GODDAMN, I understand the impulse! I sit here day after day seeing these 15 year old welfare mothers, and I think "WHY?!"!!!!!
Thank GOD Bill and I have our nieces and nephews. And thank God for our cats, too. At least with them I can be a mother. Sort of. I have always said I am just a mom without a child.
I don't know how I feel about surrogacy. Bill wants to look into it, and I hate to shoot him down because it's his chance to have his own biological baby, but it creeps me out. I don't LIKE the thought of another woman having my husband's baby. Wow, I never said that before! Whew! (better say that to Bill, eh?!)
I REALLY think the ONLY reason he likes the idea right now is because the adoption is taking so long and is so uncertain, and surrogacy has an exact start and finish once you get into it. I know he doesn't care much about having his own biological child as long as he raises a baby with me. I am so lucky to have him. He always says he married ME, not a baby, and he knew what he was getting into.
Anyway, this is all bullshit I've been over again and again, and I'm trying to move on...